Personal

Personal reflections, comments about things I've been doing, etc.

An American Wedding

This is America, the land I was born in, the country I love, with its ever shifting traditions as the current inhabitants meeting newcomers. At our best, we welcome newcomers and add their traditions to our own. At our worst we build walls and battle between different groups.

I write this sitting in a hotel in New Market, Virginia, on my way back from my niece's wedding. New Market was a battlefield in the Civil War. My niece's ancestry includes English and French that fled religious persecution in the 1600s. It includes Irish ancestors fleeing famine and seeking a better life.

This weekend, she married a young man from India that she had met in college. On Saturday, there was a Christian Wedding. I've been to many Christian Weddings and this one was a beautiful as so many others that I've been to.

Today, I experienced something very new and different to me. My new nephew-in-law arrive and a Hindu community center to celebrate his marriage to my niece. We threw rose petals as he arrived, we ate nuts, fruits and nougat. There were many other symbolic events in the ceremony, many which I probably missed.

Yet what was most important to me was seeing what I believe makes America strong, the celebration of people of different backgrounds coming together to love and serve one another.

(Categories: )

A Moment of Darkness

Monday evening, I left my office, headed down the cinderblock lined back stairs and out into the back parking lot. I climbed in the old black car and prepared for my commute home. When I turned on the car, the radio sprung to life with the latest from NPR. It was Martin Luther King, Jr. day, and all the stories were about his life and legacy. As a clip of church music played from Ebenezer Baptist Church in Atlanta, a moment of sadness swept over me.

Some of it surely was feeling the grief of the death of a great man. It was probably compounded by my thoughts following a tweet chat during the day, about how much remains to be done. All of it came together into something perhaps best captured in the end of Lord of the Flies when "Ralph wept for the end of innocence, the darkness of man's heart, and the fall through the air of the true, wise friend called Piggy".

Yet it seemed like something more, something bigger, "as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced".

When I went through a particularly rough period in my life, I experienced a deep depression and read a bit about it. William Styron's book, "Darkness Visible" always seemed to be one of the best descriptions I've read of depression. It wasn't quite like a Darkness Visible. It wasn't as deep, and it was fleeting.

I pulled out of the parking lot, and headed down the side street. The moment was over and I was on my commute home.

When I got home, I had a bad headache, and went to bed early.

This morning, a slushy snow covered the ground. Was the moment of darkness, or the headache just a reaction to the coming storm? Or, had something else happened, perhaps as far away as Alderaan.

At lunch time, I took a walk. As headed down Main Street, an unexpectedly large number of people greeted me. Was this just a bipolar swing in the other direction? Or, had I passed through something, sort of like leveling up in empathy? Had the moment of darkness been crossing some threshold in my personal rendition of the monomyth?

As I headed back to the office, I passed a sign on the side of a church, "God is speaking still," Was there some spiritual element to the moment of darkness?

I pause before I post this on my blog. What sort of reaction will this elicit? Will a psychologist seem some sort of warning sign in this? An insurance company some reason to decline coverage? Will my friends who read marketing blogs understand this? How will it relate to their online world views of trying to monetize blog posts?

And for me, what does this mean for my blog, my writing, and anything else this might portend?

(Categories: )

Fiona's First Press Pass

For nearly four years, Fiona has been doing an Internet based radio show on Blogtalkradio. Earlier this month, she interviewed Jen Alexander about Middnight on Main, a big New Year's Eve celebration in Middletown, CT.

I've been working to help promote the event and I asked if Fiona could get a press pass. Everyone agreed, so she will be attending the celebration as a journalist. She is very excited.

We've spent time pouring over the list of great bands and other performances, as well as the food trucks and other wonderful eating opportunities. I've tweaked Kim's phone to make it easier for Fiona to tweet and blog and do interviews from Kim's phone.

I've also set up some new pages for Fiona. She is too young to have a Facebook account according to their terms of service. However, an older person can set up a Facebook page for her, so I've set up Facebook Fan Page. I also set up a page on about.me to make it easier to find some of her postings.

With that, it is time for us to rush out and begin the festivities and the coverage.

"Day is Done"

It's coming on Christmas
They're cutting down trees
They're putting up reindeer
And singing songs of joy and peace
Oh I wish I had a river I could skate away on

Well, yesterday, we cut down a tree. It is up in the living room, but not decorated. That will wait until my eldest daughters show up. I haven't put up any reindeer, but we did sing songs of joy and peace and the Christmas Pageant yesterday. Oh, and yes, I wish I had a river I could skate away on.

My sleep last night was disturbed. Perhaps it is because thinking too much about semiotics and structuralism as it applies to social media and virtual worlds before going to bed. Maybe it is because stress at work. Or maybe it was because of things going on in other worlds.

I don't have any particularly personal reaction to the death of Kim Jong Il. It was a shock. I hope it leads towards better relations between the U.S. and North Korea, or at least not a worsening of relations.

Yet, today, I received news that a friend had died yesterday. Rich Sivel, a political activist I've known and respected for several years died unexpectedly yesterday. On top of the lack of sleep, stress at work and just generally trying to make it though the holidays, I am deeply grieved.

It was another day that it was hard to drive home, I was so tired. Yet as I sit to write, the words of Day is Done come to mind.

All will be well when the day is done.
Day is done, Day is done

(Categories: )

Smoke on the Water

(While National Novel Writing Month has passed, I've written the following in the style I was exploring during the month. While it is based on my general recollections of junior high school, I cannot vouch for the accuracy of the memories.)

It was about forty years ago that I went to my first junior high school dance. It was around the time that my parents were breaking up and my mother drove me in old green Chevy pick up truck to the regional high school. With anticipation and apprehension, I dressed up in some nice school clothes. I didn’t have any fancy clothes to speak of, it wasn’t a fancy sort of dance, and I probably would have felt even more awkward if I had to where something nice. My older brothers, already in high school, and having been to various school dances made snide comments, and my younger sister, still in elementary school and a Partridge Family fan wanted to find some way that she could go on such a grand adventure. My mother sensed my uneasiness at the event, and told her to stay home as she drove me to the dance.

Back then, I was a nerd, before it was cool to be a nerd. I enjoyed talking about academic subjects, especially math. I had gone from playing clarinet in the school band to alto clarinet, on a journey that would lead me to saxophone, bagpipes, and any other instrument I could get my hands on. Yet actually performing, or for that matter, sufficiently practicing the clarinet, was something that terrified me, almost as much as talking to a girl, or letter her know that I liked her.

The drive to the school was a little over seven miles. It was fifteen minutes of just me and my mother. She tried to get me to talk about who would be there. I mentioned some of the boys that I thought would probably be there, but didn’t mention any of the girls, especially not mentioning the girls I thought were cute or hoped to dance with.

Like so many school dances, this one took place in the gymnasium. The room wax dark and decorated with crepe paper. Up near the front of the gym, the band was set up at the east end. I walked around a little the large room for a little bit to try and find my friends. Like all the boys, they were on the north side of the gym. We stood around and looked timidly across the floor to the south side where the girls were gathered in similar clusters. Some of the more popular and self possessed kids took to the dance floor. They seemed to be having a good time, and I longed to join.

We did not listen to much music at our house. There was an old radio in the corner of the kitchen that we would listen to on snowy mornings to hear if there was a school cancellation. We eventually got a small record player and we listened to records we checked out of the town library. My sister purchased a single or two, and it seemed like there would be weeks on end that I heard “If you’re going to San Francisco…” playing over and over on the record player.

I remember listening to the Beatles when we checked out one of there albums and I would mangle Hey Jude, horribly. Some of my neighbors, older boys that were closer friends with my brothers and played in one of the many typical high school bands, would endlessly try to get me to sing Hey Jude a little better, but I just couldn’t tell what I was doing wrong. I also listened to a bit of Simon & Garfunkel. “I am a rock” seemed to capture my social abilities of the time.

At the dance, there would be various songs that the band would play that would encourage me to ask a girl to dance. When “She was just seventeen” came on, my heart would go boom as I crossed the room to ask one of the girls to dance. I would be terrified that they would say no, and perhaps even more terrified that they would say yes. Yet instead of dancing through the night, we would dance one dance, and then awkwardly exchange niceties before retreating back to our respective sides of the gym.

Another song that I really liked to dance at in those says was “Smoke on the Water”. I didn’t know what the words were. I just recognized the four measure riff and anticipated singing along to the chorus, “Smoke on the water, fire in the sky”. When the familiar opening chords were played, I would walk across the floor and try to get someone to dance with me. I was more comfortable with this song. I could simply enjoy dancing to it, without worrying about everyone looking at me or what my partner might be thinking.

When the dance was over, my mother would pick me up in the green pickup truck for the long fifteen minute drive home. She would ask if I had fun and whom I danced with. I would mumble about having had a good time and maybe name a girl or two that I danced with.

The days have passed and my two eldest daughters have been through their school dances. Perhaps I was projecting, but it seemed like Mairead’s experiences at school dances mirrored my own. Miranda seemed to have a much better time at the dances and would be much more talkative afterwards.

All of these memories come to mind, as I visited a blog I enjoy today. The Modern Historian has blog posts about things that have happened this day in history. Today is the fortieth anniversary of the Montreux Casino fire in 1971 that smoke on the water is all about.

Instead of looking for the old grey portable record player we had as a kid, I typed “Smoke on the Water” into Spotify and listened to the original, as well as a bunch of interesting covers of it, from a workout video to a bagpipe cover.

(Categories: )
Syndicate content