We all have different ways of grieving. Partly, I keep the grief at bay by keeping busy, and then finding quiet times, here and there, when I can deal with a little bit of the grief. Other people I know immerse themselves in their grief, letting it pour out everywhere. Some people prefer to grieve privately, others find comfort in the support of those around them.

For much of my life, I've been more of the solitary griever, an introvert on the Myers-Briggs tests. Yet I went through a time of grief a decade ago when a friend offered me some sage advice.

Another part of my personality is that I like to help people. At the same time, I've always been reluctant to accept help from others. My friend pointed out that if everyone didn't accept help, there would be no one for those of us who like to help others to help. It made sense, and I've gotten better at accepting help.

I've also recently been hearing many people talk about the value of gratitude. By being grateful, our experiences of events and people around us changes.

With all this in mind, I've been balancing my grief with gratitude to all the people who have come to comfort and console me. It has made those awkward moments when people come to offer condolences much more comfortable.

This fits nicely with All Saints Day, which was last Thursday, and many Christians observed in one way or another this Sunday. We sang hymns about all the saints who from their labors rest. The priest at our church gave a great sermon about how the saints around us, through their support and encouragement can help us through the most difficult trials.

I thought about Hebrews 12:1:

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.

I have managed to persevere through my grief, thanks, in large part, to the great cloud of witnesses surrounding me. Some of these witnesses may have very different understandings of who God is. They might talk about Allah, some higher power, or simply love, but they have been witnesses of this higher power to me.

With this focus of thankfulness, together with thinking about my mother, another hymn comes to mind. I always associate heading back to Williamstown for Thanksgiving, with the hymn "Now Thank We All Our God".

Now thank we all our God, with heart and hands and voices,
Who wondrous things has done, in Whom this world rejoices;
Who from our mothers’ arms has blessed us on our way
With countless gifts of love, and still is ours today.

Who from our mothers' arms… What do we associate with motherhood? Compassion? Caring? Comfort? I was a reckless daredevil as a kid, ending up with a long list of injuries, but always, my mother was there to take me in her arms and provide comfort. Now, she has passed away. I will not feel her arms around me again, as I did when I was a young boy.

Yet there are many around me who have offered their comfort at the passing of my mother. Some have been bold and given me hugs without asking. Others have been more circumspect and have asked if they can give me a hug.

The answer is yes. Thank you. God continues to bless me on my way, providing those blessings, no longer from my mother's arms, but from the arms of friends, family, neighbors, and co-workers.

I know that there will be moments of great sadness, together with moments of wonderful memories. But most importantly I know, we are all in this together; both when we help one another and when we allow others to help us. Then, we are blessed and at our best.

Thank you.